I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
