I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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