whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize