he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
