all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
