if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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