return my video game
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
