Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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