he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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