So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
