is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
