Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
