You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
