I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
