JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
handjob tips. give me some.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm having to shit out rocks
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
