Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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