Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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