Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
