They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
