Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
