Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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