he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i drank out of a bidet.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
