i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize