I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
