i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
