Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
