I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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