He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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