i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
