the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize