there was a trapeze. enough said
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
