she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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