Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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