Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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