should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
