Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
