you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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