Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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