Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
