Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
