i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
