the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
