I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
