Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
