No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
