I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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