best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
