Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
