jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck me I smell like cheese
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
