Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize