Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
