She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
