The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
