He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize