Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
