Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Apparently you make a good broom.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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