Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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